SLU’s top four date locations

SLU’s top four date locations

Few students know that Saint Louis University ranks as one of the top 10 most romantic colleges in St. Louis, Missouri. This is in part due to the many great date spots hidden around campus. Here, I have compiled a list of the best places for an on-campus date for those couples that don’t want to go far to go out.

1. Starbucks: Who hasn’t had a date at Starbucks at least once? It’s the quintessential “my mom said she’d drop me off downtown at 2 and we can just walk around after that but I only have $7 and she’s picking me up at 4” date. Centrally located, dimly lit and just expensive enough that you seem generous, this is a classic spot for a first date. Possible downsides include: the noise from the blenders, long lines and excessive bathroom trips if they order any size above a ‘tall’.

Do: Impress your date more by ordering a trenta cup of espresso beans and eating it as quickly as possible. Be sure to mention that this is something you do frequently.

Don’t: Climb over the counter and insist on making your date’s drink yourself. This is especially true for those lacking the two hepatitis A shots required for food service jobs in the state of Missouri.

2. The Unisex Bathroom in the Lecture Hall Stairwell: One of the most intimate locations at SLU lies in the bowels of the lecture halls. Mysterious and private, this special spot will have your date asking “Why is this here?” and “Is this two-ply?” With its chic industrial atmosphere, it’s up to you to soften the mood.

Do: Pull out a can of Fresh Fall Pumpkin Febreze and say “just in case.” Bonus points if you can place it in the room before the date. Soften the lighting by striking dozens of matches in rapid succession.

Don’t: Attempt to find an outlet to use your hairdryer and charge your portable radio. Firstly, your hair should be dry when you arrive for the date. Secondly, FM signal is poor that far underground. Be sure to prepare cassette tapes prior to the date.

Notice: This date location is reservation only.

3. Future Room 403 in Grand Hall: With windows and facades going up, this location is only going to get more popular. Currently a shell of steel beams and exposed wiring, a date in what will soon be room 403 in Grand Hall makes a statement to your date. That exact statement is up to you, feel free to clarify by tagging it on any flat surface with a can of spray paint.

Do: Acquire matching hardhats and label them “Wire Guy” or “Mr. Paint” so that no one stops you on your way in. Leave the date midway through and mention that it’s time for your union mandated break.

Don’t: Attempt to show your date how strong your teeth are by biting copper pipes. Your workers compensation does not cover dental injuries.

4. The Secret Room at the Top of the Clocktower: Highly sought-after as a date spot, the secret room at the top of the clocktower is something of mythology. Legend tells that any couple who kisses at the top will marry either each other or George Clooney. Lit by a single ever-burning flame, this room is populated by a lone white rat, trained to wind the clock at midnight each evening.

Do: Bring a puree of goat milk and steel cut oats to appease the rat. If he is pleased with your offering, he will add a year to both of your lives. Be prepared to answer a series of riddles.

Don’t: Arrive bearing rat poison or an unwilling heart.

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