Three years ago, my high school friends’ jaws dropped when I informed them that I had joined a sorority. Now, as a junior in college, I realize that a few more things have changed since my freshman year-more than just the pounds I shed and the loss of eight inches of dark brown hair. No, I’m a different girl because I’ve learned so much; I’ve received an education.

I’ve learned how to write papers pretty darned quickly. I don’t know if my writing has necessarily improved, but through three years of communication classes and news articles for this publication, I can mindlessly and with little effort compose a two-page paper in about 18 minutes.

I learned about the great philosophical minds of Plato and Socrates and Kant … ugghh, Kant. I learned to become accustomed to seeing the letter C on my report card. I learned how to pull an all-nighter. I learned how to pull consecutive all-nighters. I learned that you cannot purchase No-Doz at Target, but it is available at the campus C-Store. Interesting.

I learned how to devour an entire two-pound bag of peanut-butter M&Ms. I learned how to ride public transportation. I learned how to use public restrooms, communal showers and elevators daily.

I’ve learned that attitude is a choice, but sometimes we all need a little help being happy. I’ve learned just how much I love my parents. I learned that, if consensus is correct, I look better as a blond. I learned that acne does not disappear as quickly as the teen-age years do. I’ve learned that smiles are acknowledgments of the way other people view you.

I’ve done so many things, good and bad, of which I am both proud and ashamed. I discovered what the inside of a tanning bed looks like. After memorizing the quickest route to the Galleria, I found myself traveling it often when stress consumed me. I know what it feels like to fall in love at first sight. I said goodbye to one of the greatest girls in the world. I got my heart broken. I found my best friend in a short blonde with a sassy attitude. I realized I am one of few people who actually flosses at least twice a day. I decided that my parents pay $20,000 a year so that I can have a grilled cheese sandwich whenever I want. I carry a cell phone.

I learned how to do step aerobics, just not gracefully. I learned how to smoke a cigarette-well, I still have trouble with that inhaling part. I learned that sometimes the things that mean the most to you are the most difficult to accomplish. I learned how to criticize the government. I learned how to be patriotic.

I learned that even this shy girl has the ability to be brave. I asked a hot boy out on a date. I confronted my archrival. I gave a speech in front of more than 500 people without my voice quivering. I’ve proven people wrong when they doubted me. I voiced my opinion about Depo-Provera, even when I knew I was the minority. I flew across the country all by my lonesome.

There is one lesson I can single out as the best piece of knowledge I have acquired thus far: The notion that, “Whatever doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger,” is crap. If you want to be happy, eliminate the things from your life that make you unhappy.

Like everyone reading this, I realize that I have learned so much in the past few years. But I still remain pretty ignorant.

No worries, though: I still have one more year’s worth of a college education to figure out the rest.

Maria Baran is a junior studying communication.