Yesterday in the grocery store, I was seduced at the magazine rack. It had happened before, of course, but this one wasn’t my type. I wasn’t lured by the shoes, both fashionable and unattainably pricey. Nor was it a chiseled Hollywood chin, glossy and pore-free. It was a cute bikini and the promises printed around it, alluding to the possibility that I could, some day, look hot in a similar bikini.
I took it home, read it and decided that this fling with a fitness magazine was mostly dull. Ninety-five percent of its content was common sense.
Although there were articles on skin care and rare veggies to snack on, weight loss was the topic on the cover, with inviting phrases like, “Look five pounds thinner, now!” and “Get firm, firm, firm!”
Americans are intrigued by these promises for good reason. More than half of the adults in the United States are overweight, and one quarter of the adults are considered obese. Serious medical conditions can impede weight loss and obesity cannot usually be cured by common sense. But the simple solutions offered in this magazine are geared toward busy women with a little extra flab. As I read them I snickered, but I continued to flip the pages:
Fact: Taking the stairs instead of the elevator will help you lose weight. Yes, moving burns calories. Fact: An avocado has as much fat as a donut. Yes, avocados are delicious, but unless you have devised a guacamole diet, you’re probably OK. Fact: Standing up straight will make you look thinner. Yes, and if you suck it in and wear heels and you’ll lose another 10.
As these “facts” piled up, I started to wonder if Americans even consider common sense when it comes to health. The health police seem to have our backs, with the surgeon general and the FDA warning us about the specific dangers of smoking, drinking and abusing cough medicine. The health police belong to an unofficial, unchartered group whose members work for the government, media and shopping malls. They sell vitamins and warn against eating raw meat. They spell out every possible recommendation for good health, and if they don’t it becomes grounds for a lawsuit, or at least a good excuse. “I never knew that only eating cabbage would be an unhealthy way to lose weight!”
The fitness magazines are the police’s happy messengers, carrying tips about all of the above. And then there are the exercise rules: “Twelve reps 40 times daily, 20 minutes intense cardio while flexing abdomen and buttocks and reading this magazine.”
I imagined that loyal readers clung to this mini fitness bible, amazed by its revelations. Or maybe they were merely amused, like me, chomping on cookies while watching The Learning Channel. Motivation comes in many forms, but rarely as a cute bikini on the cover of a magazine. It is more holistic, a realization that smoking will kill you, eating vegetables will make you healthier and riding a bike every day can give you energy. If you need to know the recommended dosage of exercise and brussel sprouts, consult the fitness bibles. But I doubt that details matter all that much. Just do something, anything but read fitness magazines with a mouth full of cookies.
