Virginia,

I regret to inform you, your little friends are right.

We live in an age where we must find answers to everything.
Anything claimed to exist must be fully accounted for with
sufficient, certifiable evidence, lest it collapse under the
scrutiny of the scholars of modernity.

Virginia, with all apologies, there is no Santa Claus.

For recognizing this, I must commend your comrades for showing
maturity beyond their years and not wasting time by rotting their
minds in whimsy. There are surely places waiting for them in top
Ivy League universities for their acute perceptiveness.

You see, Virginia, in his eternal quest for knowledge, man has
reached the peak of his consciousness. Sophists finally began
asking the right questions. We, as a society, collectively grew to
know all of the right answers, and the concept of Santa Claus does
not fit into this equation.

At one time, faith, poetry, love and romance existed to push
away the veil that covers the world of the unseen, giving a glimpse
of the ‘beauty’ that lies behind. Yet, humanity–in its usurping
wisdom–replaced such arts with rationalization, scholarship and
political agendas, and with these glorious tools of enlightenment
tore down the curtain between reality and fantasy to prove that
nothing lies on the other side.

Many of us no longer have a need for God and constantly try to
discredit those who waste their time looking toward his oppressive
code of authority. Uprightness out of fear of eternal punishment or
reward is unfitting to the mind of contemporary reasonability. The
guise of Santa is no more than an extension of this theological
mentality, created to keep greedy children in submission by threat
of reprisal through what they care about most–their
possessions.

And Virginia, let me assure you: No one sees you when you’re
sleeping or knows when you’re awake. Anyone who would even claim to
own such power clearly violates your constitutional rights to
privacy. And the judgment such a person places upon you for actions
in private clearly holds no appreciation for tolerance.

Furthermore, for the sake of pure logic, did you ever stop to
consider the sheer disparity in economics involved behind Mr.
Claus’s generosity? Why does ‘Santa’ bring your friend with the
7,000 square-foot house the nicest clothes, all of the hottest
holiday gifts and the newest in technology year after year? Is it
because Santa favors those who achieve financial success? Of course
not. To possess a healthy understanding of class struggle, you must
come to grasp essential sensibilities such as these.

Granted, a certain degree of charm exists in an inquisitive
childlike faith such as yours. Yet, a misguided belief often leads
to frequent misunderstanding of truth, and likewise may develop a
concept of trust based upon nothing more than misinformation.
Besides, it’s better I let you in on the harsh realities of the
world before your dreams become squandered in years to come.

Believe in Santa Clause? Please. You might as well believe
Saddam possessed weapons of mass destruction.

Kris Kringle is the tool of instant gratification and obtuse
parents who enjoy the subversive pleasure of pulling Christmas
pranks on their children. Rationality, discernment, scholarship and
boisterous righteousness truly make glad the heart of mankind, not
phony holiday iconography.

Politically correct holiday greetings to you and your family,
Virginia.