I am a Northerner. I drive fast, I change lanes often and I
don’t slow down for bad weather. I also like the idea of walking
down to a local bar with friends and hanging out, as well as going
to mom-and-pop restaurants and stores.

Huntsville afforded me none of these simple pleasures that I had
taken for granted in the North.

A quick history of Huntsville: Up until the 1950s, Huntsville
was a small town that happened to have an army arsenal nearby. The
Army chose this little arsenal as the place where they would stick
the German scientists they had “acquired” during World War II and
have them build rockets there.

Then the town exploded–figuratively speaking.

This small town of maybe 50,000 jumped to over 150,000 in less
than a decade. Because of this sudden jump, planning was not
possible.

The town, therefore, is a mess of poor roads, franchise
restaurants and suburban housing.

Enter me, a soon-to-be twenty-one year-old looking for a good
time and cool places to go.

I had no idea what I was getting into. The first weekend Brian
and I went to the movies simply because there was no other place to
go. Brian (who hales from Chicago) and I (from Ohio, in case you
forgot) grew up in towns where movie theaters are bountiful and
gigantic complexes line the horizon like seaweed on a
shoreline.

I scoff at movie megaplexes that are under 24 theaters. The
biggest one in Huntsville has nine. Not only that, there were only
three in the entire city.

And because there is such a dearth of movie screens in town,
only the biggest and stupidest movies find their way down. There is
no Tivoli, no Hi-Pointe and no Drexel (for those Columbus folks)
showing movies that are actually intelligent. Instead we had
American Wedding and Charlie’s Angels.

On top of that, those few places are overwhelmed by
high-schoolers and middle- schoolers. Granted, this should come as
no big surprise, but this seemed far worse than I had seen
before.

Earlier in the summer, I turned 21. For most, this is a new door
to places they have only dreamed of going and the chance to see
things that they had only seen in the movies. I had been looking
forward to it for some time, mainly because it would give me
something else to do instead of going to the movies. Yet I soon
found out that Huntsville is not very conducive to alcohol
consumption.

Except for bar-and-grill places like Chili’s and T.G.I. Fridays,
there are very few bars in the city–maybe 10, if I include the
dives. As it was explained to me, Alabama is highly Protestant and
righteous in their beliefs, as a whole.

When I did go in the bars, I almost immediately wanted to leave.
Most patrons are engineers either from the base or the hornet’s
nest of contractors surrounding the base who are trying in vain to
pick up chicks and score.

The problem lay in the fact that men outnumbered the ladies in
these bars by a solid three-to-one ratio, which was great for my
intern friends who were females. For me, though, it was a sad
sight, having to observe these nerdy guys use bad pick-up lines and
buy copious amounts of alcohol for women who would just as soon
knee them in the groin and walk away.

As I’ve written before, I believe that Alabama drivers are some
of the worst I’ve seen. I told this to a local, who then told me
that I had everything backwards: Alabama drivers are supposedly
some of the most courteous around, as long you drive the “Alabama
Way.”

According to this person, the correct way to change lanes is to
(1) turn on the blinker, (2) wait for someone to let you in, (3)
change lanes, and (4) wave back to that person who let you into the
lane.

I tried this out a few times in my last few weeks there, and I
can honestly say it was somewhat effective in getting around.
Still, I don’t have the patience to wait for someone else to let me
into a lane when I can see a perfect little gap if I jump on it
right away. Give me city driving anytime compared to that
formality.

Don’t get me wrong; I did have a good time, occasionally. On the
base, there is a cozy bar that I frequented from time to time that
has $1.25 longnecks and free hot dogs in the kitchen for anyone who
wants to cook them. Mostly though, my weekends were long,
monotonous and incredibly boring.

The only way I would think about returning to Huntsville to live
and work would be if I were already married and wanted to live in
the suburbs.

Ah, but it doesn’t matter at this point, sitting here in St.
Louis with the world at my fingertips and things to do in every
direction.

It is an aspect of the city I will never again take for
granted.

Drew Ewing is a junior studying aerospace
engineering.