Monday night brought a loss for the underdogs when Larisa picked
Gil over Brian in Average Joe 2: Hawaii. However, the “nice guys”
are gaining yardage as true love conquers the porn industry in The
Girl Next Door.

If you were expecting another Road Trip based on the previews,
you’re in for a surprise so satisfying you’ll feel sick to your
stomach. Rather, this movie more closely resembles Can’t Hardly
Wait meets Pretty Woman. Matthew Kidman (Emile Hirsch) is the anal
retentive, overachieving student body president that parents always
wish their children could be.

Matthew’s reality turns around when the adorable and seemingly
innocent Danielle (Elisha Cuthbert) moves in next door, prompting
him with the question, “What’s the craziest thing you’ve done
lately?” Matthew becomes acutely aware of the fact that he has
never been spontaneous–ever.

He might be anything but smooth, but things go well until
Matthew’s friend Eli (Chris Marquette) shows Matthew a porn video
involving karate–and Danielle is the star.

Eli beseeches Matthew not to screw this one up, so Matthew takes
Danielle and a bottle of bourbon to a cheap motel. As any
self-respecting girl should, she promptly dumps him.

Things start to get messy when Danielle’s friend Kelly (Timothy
Olyphant) appears on the scene. Convinced that she’s not suited for
suburban life, she packs up and heads to the porn convention in Las
Vegas with this “producer,” whom she used to date. “This is who I
am,” the disenchanted Danielle says to Matthew, with a pout. As the
rest of the movie plays out, Matthew does everything within his
means to prove to Danielle that her statement isn’t true.

So, what is the craziest thing Matthew Kidman has done lately?
He follows Danielle to Las Vegas the night before his all-important
scholarship dinner, prompting him to show up for the event an hour
late. When he finally shows up, he is rolling on Ecstasy and has a
bloody nose.

Matthew loses $25,000 that he raised to bring Cambodian genius
Samnang (Ulysses Lee) to the United States, and even ditches
class.

This movie is more than gratuitous nudity and lewd comments,
although it comes about as close to crossing the line into
pornography as a feature film could. However, this is to be
expected in a movie about a high schooler dating a porn star.
Matthew and his friends–the three legs of the “tripod”–illustrate
what it’s like to be a guy in high school who isn’t too high in the
pecking order.

He wants to be president; she wants to be appreciated. Love
abounds as Matthew takes on the porn industry and Danielle saves
his senior year from being a total wash.

I’m just not sure which feat is more impressive.