Every fall, a new freshman class embraces the traditions of
Saint Louis University. Emotions of anxiety, excitement and
curiosity are typical sentiments for the college initiates. There
are many expectations that weigh heavily on their shoulders.

Well, at Saint Louis University, there is one expectation they
can forget: alcohol.

Yeah, that’s right, I said it. The Greek system at SLU practices
Dry Rush. Forget “Animal House,” toga parties or John Belushi. And
say hello to O’Doulls, Bush NA (which I think means not acceptable)
and late nights of Monopoly.

The SLU community strictly restricts fraternities and sororities
to drink alcoholic beverages with rushees.

In fact, sorority girls are prohibited from going to local bars,
because of possible encounters with rushees. Yikes! (Prohibited
from bars! I think Russia had the same policy during
communism.)

Clearly, Saint Louis University is taking a clear stance against
underage drinking, which is extremely commendable.

Except for the fact that SLU just opened the Busch Student
Center. And for those outside the world of beer: Busch, as in
Anheuser-Busch, the biggest beer distributor in the world!

SLU will accept millions of dollars from the beer industry to
create a building, but they won’t let potential rushees drink with
upperclassmen?

Sure, it might be illegal to consume alcohol if you are not 21
years of age, but that’s only if you read the laws.

We’ll ignore that minor detail, because it’s only a
technicality. Because, according to dog years, every potential
rushee should be eligible to consume alcoholic beverages.

The University would rather have students drive off campus and
annihilate their livers outside the campus setting. Not only is
this a health risk, because of drinking and driving, but also it
hurts SLU’s local revenue.

I am no economist, but if SLU allowed a wet rush, Wackadoo’s
profits would easily triple. The administration could monitor such
intellectually stimulating activities as keg stands, beer pong and
flip cup.

Fraternities and sororities must know how potential pledges will
react with alcohol. A wet rush is a great preview and helps weed
out those who cannot handle alcohol in a respectful manner.

Also, let’s be honest and realize that the next four years will
be a haze for most students anyway, so what is an extra two weeks
of boozing going to hurt?

I am not a proponent of underage drinking, or advocate for the
beer industry. I am simply looking out for Saint Louis University’s
best interests.

Well, in this case, its best interest is booze.

I hope the University will heed my words and not tease potential
rushees by prohibiting drinking, after naming a campus building
after a company that featured such eloquent scholars as the
“Whasuuuuuuuuup guys.”