There is a new crisis that has engulfed college students across
America. In fact, this crisis has spread beyond the college arena
and can be seen everywhere.

I am talking about a very important issue and hope that others
are alarmed as myself. This problem must end abruptly or children
of the future will be scarred for life.

Please heed my important fashion advice: Put the collars down
and take off the wristbands!

Every time I venture into a social scene, I am overwhelmed by
men who wear their collars erect. I tried to ignore this fashion
outrageousness, but the trend has caught fire.

Like a wildfire, it has spread beyond college circles and into
the American culture.

People say that sporting the collars upright is only a
resurgence of 80’s fashion. I disagree, because this trend did not
start during the eighties era.

One man revolutionized the upright collars: Arthur Fonzarelli,
a.k.a. the “Fonz” from “Happy Days.”

Like the “Fonz,” many young men feel it gives them a cool, hip
look. The Fonz wore his collar upright and thought he was the
coolest.

No, actually, he was not cool at all. In fact, the “Fonz” was a
complete and utter loser. He was a 35 year-old car mechanic who
lived on top of someone’s garage. Not to mention, he constantly
harassed high-school females, which is wrong and illegal. He surely
sounds like a person I want to emulate.

So, please, put the collar down, or go live on top of someone’s
garage.

Collars are not the only current fashion issue. We cannot forget
that the youth have begun to wear athletic wristbands to the bars
and nightclubs.

I was confused when I first discovered this look. I thought that
there might be a late-night pickup basketball game or backyard
football games after the bars close at three a.m.

Why stop with just the wristband? I say go all out and wear a
helmet and shoulder pads. I’m sure girls would find it real sexy on
the Laclede’s dance floor.

Wristbands have not been this popular since the “What Would
Jesus Do?” wristbands. I’ll tell you one thing Jesus would not
do–He would not wear athletic wristbands in social environments,
because He would realize that quite frankly, it looks stupid.

I do not claim to be Donatella Versace or to understand the
world of fashion. But, I do know that it is the responsibility of
my generation to stop dressing like complete fools.

I think it is about time we unite to put down our collars and
take off the athletic wristbands. Let’s unite and start a new trend
by wearing eye patches. Pirates are way cooler than the “Fonz” and
talk with an excellent accent.

Every person can make a difference, so please, do your part and
dress appropriately or walk the plank.