It's amazing how easily a hot chick can grab a twenty-two year-old college male's attention. I've learned this lesson over the last month with my new girlfriend: ABC's "Desperate Housewives." I know this show is meant for women who yearned for a replacement to the recently defunct "Sex and the City." But, I'll admit that I have been glued to the television screen every Sunday night to watch "Desperate Housewives" instead of ESPN's Sunday Night Football. Of course, I enjoy watching grown men beat the crap out of each other, but I'd much rather drool over Eva Langoria in skimpy lingerie.
In fact, it is her affair with the 17-year-old high school lawn boy that sucked me in to the world of women's gossip. She is absolutely smoking hot! If only I could have been her lawn boy in high school. Instead, I used to cut grass for an overweight balding man, whose lawn was dotted with dog feces.
It's not just the character of Gabriele Solis (Eva Longoria) that makes me want to move to Westeria Lane. I also enjoy that Teri Hatcher (Susan Mayer) is back on prime-time television. On the show, she plays a clumsy woman, struggling to regain control of her life. She is ditzy, unpredictable and certainly has her flaws. Well, I ignore those problems because her body is prime-time striking!
I admit that I started watching Desperate Housewives simply because of the pleasant scenery. Yet, I must also concede that I have become thoroughly engaged in the plot. What's even worse is that I watch the hit show with my roommate's girlfriend.
It'd be one thing if I watched it with my own girlfriend, but since I am currently single (I know it's hard to believe, ladies), I call my buddy's girlfriend for some good old girl bonding. Yes, I am one pathetic loser.
Maybe I am simply a desperate college student looking for an older, mature woman: A woman that has a much fuller understanding of life, if you know what I mean.
I guess I can say goodbye to Laclede's and Humphrey's and hello to the bars of Ladue and Clayton. Because, somewhere in St. Louis, there is a desperate housewife looking for someone to take care of her lawn.
Until then, I'm going to fulfill my Sundays with professional football and "Desperate Housewives." What more could any guy ask for?
