Like most students at Saint Louis University I enjoy going to the local bars. For years Humphrey's and Laclede Street Bar and Grille have been social staples for Saint Louis University students.
Humphrey's, most notably known for "penny pitchers," and Laclede Street Bar and Grille, where men typically attack the dance floor to reenact N'Sync's latest video. Which, by the way, really needs to stop. If you want to imitate Justin Timberlake, try out for "American Idol." Anyway, I don't want to talk about dancing, drinking beer, or any other social activities. I have become quite angry with Laclede Street Bar and Grille. The men's bathroom is the most unsafe and disgusting room I have ever seen.
In fact I would not even categorize it as a bathroom. It looks like the remnants of a war torn battlefield. You are probably thinking, is he really talking about a stupid bathroom? Yes, and I think it is important to have a John that promotes health and sanitation. Where do I even begin with this outlandish attempt of a bathroom?
Well, to start with, the men's bathroom does not even have a mirror. The mirror has been replaced with a cardboard cutout advertising for the Laclede bus shuttle. Where are all the men supposed to look to make sure their gelled hair stays intact? If they can afford a shuttle to take the drunkards down to the Cardinals games, Laclede's can probably afford a mirror. And I think it's time they bucked up and actually put money into a mirror.
Another issue I have with the men's restroom are the actual toilet stalls. They do not even have doors on the stalls. Great, so what happens if I have to go number two? I have an entire audience of men watching me, like I'm the half-time entertainment of the Super Bowl.
Seriously, they need to spend some money and put on some doors. That's really not asking too much. I'm not asking for a toilet throne, just simply some privacy.
Finally, Laclede's really needs to invest in some cleaning products. The men's bathroom looks like it was decimated by a tornado of urine and vomit.
God only knows how many diseases have formed in the mildew, mold and filth. Every time I go into the bathroom I do not feel safe unless I have one of those goofy radioactive suits.
I feel that my requests are not ridiculous, but very understandable. Laclede Street Bar and Grille needs to do something about the so-called makeshift men's bathroom. It's not like the bar can't afford these changes.
God only knows how much money is pumped into that place every weekend. I know there have been many nights when I have tossed down the credit card like it was Monopoly money. I hope these changes will rightly occur because I don't want to contract SARS because I had to use the bathroom.
