Throughout this school year I have delivered frequent humor in my self-proclaimed Ruther's Rants. I created this column to enliven The University News and insert some much-needed humor. I envisioned a weekly column of playful gests, witty jokes, and incoherent gibberish. Yet, to my dismay, I was forced to uphold the law of political correctness. I was unable to make playful jokes about the height-challenged, campus security and my solution to terrorism. Naturally, I took these jokes and other insightful ideas to a place of acceptance and understanding: comedy clubs.
Unlike newspapers, stand-up comedy does not discriminate, but bashes all walks of life, regardless of musical preference or favorite "Stars Wars" movie. Therefore, I write my final rant simply to plug my upcoming comedy show.
On Thursday, April 7, at 8 p.m. in the friendly confines of Wackadoo's, I will not adhere to censorship. In fact, I will engage the crowd in a fun hour, discussing such important topics as: cellular phones, reality television and drinking games.
I warn everyone that unlike my U. News articles, my jokes do not follow guidelines. Hence, easy targets such as Ashlee Simpson will be spared no mercy.
If you are one of the few people who read my articles, I am quite impressed that you can actually read. But it also shows you have somewhat of a sense of humor. I invite you to indulge this sense of humor with SLU's only stand-up comedian. If you don't realize that I am talking about myself, you are truly gifted. I am also unique, and because of this, I have entitled my show "My Special Education: Andy Ruther Comedy Show." Throughout my many years of education, I have learned the value of a special education and want to share it with the world.
If these astounding arguments are not convincing, then come for the drink specials. I am not at liberty to describe the exact specials, but they will place a smile on anyone's face-especially fraternity males named Jasper.
Lastly, I simply want to apologize to anyone who has been offended by any of my University News articles. I apologize if my sophomoric and immature rants have caused offense. I apologize because my articles did not meet their respected offensive potential.
Come to my comedy show next week and you'll see what I'm talking about.
I hope this incoherent rambling made some sense, because I only typed it with one eye, because I am 50 percent pirate. (Don't pity me, rather my children who will not be "grounded," but will be forced to walk the plank). Anyway, I look forward to revealing my wisdom next Thursday at Wackadoo's. Remember, the show starts at 8 p.m., and admission is free, so everyone is welcome, including Parks majors.
