Barbie was “born” on March, 9 1959, in the fictional town of Willows, Wisc. Her full name is Barbara Millicent Roberts. Ken Carson, her boyfriend of 43 years, never put a ring on it. Barbie and Ken broke up in 2004, but rumor has it the two are back together again.
Since she just celebrated her 50th birthday, I felt it was necessary to dedicate this column to my beloved friend. This plastic doll has entered homes and brought joy to many girls (and some boys) for years.
I spent my childhood playing with all different kinds of Barbies. I looked forward to getting new outfits. I found it impossible to put on her shoes, and I often had a quickly avoided meltdown when my mom fixed it for me. As a child, I lost every pair of Barbie’s shoes, and I still find them in various places around the house.
Some of my Barbies were taken hostage by dogs. And my brother cut Ken’s legs off. Apparently, G.I. Joe and Ken were at war.
It was all in good fun.
However, there are some people who despise Barbie and think her artificial look is not something for girls to idolize. And to you, hater, I say you’re just jealous.
Barbie has had more than 108 careers and jobs, represented 50 different nationalities, and collaborated with more than 70 of the fashion world’s top designers. She has owned more than 50 pets. And every 3 seconds, somewhere in the world, a Barbie is sold. Not to mention she is still a powerhouse brand among girls of all ages.
Her real-life measurements are 39-23-33. Yes, if she were a real human she would have an enormous head and neck (three times the size of a normal person). Yes, she would have to crawl because her boobs are that big. She would stand seven feet and two inches tall, and would wear a size three in children’s shoes.
No, real-life size Barbie does not have the ideal body type either.
You may have a problem with Barbie’s choice of a career path or the multitude of ones. Or maybe you have a problem with her size. Or your problem may lie in the fact that it is impossible to be Barbie.
I will agree it is impossible to be Barbie. Any normal person realizes this. And even though every girl has her moment where we think, “that bitch has everything,” we shouldn’t hate her for that reason.
Barbie is more than an 11-inch plastic doll with great looks. We should remember Barbie as one of our first friends. She taught us how to dress ourselves, how to cook, how to be a sister, how to be a mother and how to be a busy woman and still have time to look fabulous. But most of all, she taught us how to take care of ourselves.
Barbie is an independent woman.
She does not need a man in her life, and she kicked Ken to the curb. For the past 50 years, Barbie has done what she wanted to do. She has had the best jobs, friends, cars and adventures. Not to mention, she has done this with class.
So yes, I want to be an independent woman who can do whatever I want to do, and look fabulous doing it.
And by the way, Barbie is not stupid. Math really is hard.
Windmills of My Mind is a column written by a different contributor every week on memories about a film, book, play, song, or piece of art. Interested in writing one? E-mail the editor at [email protected].
