Editor’s note: This article was originally published in the October 2024 University News print edition.
The leaves are changing colors and slowly drifting away from the trees that they once held onto so tightly. They either float away in the wind, never to be seen again, or cover the ground with faded hues of oranges, reds and browns, of what once used to be vibrant greens, reminding us of changing seasons. They remind me of letting go.
The concept of letting go can be hard for some of us to grasp. It can be applied to anything, whether letting go of people, the past, objects, etc. It can be difficult to grapple with leaving behind what you may have always known and are familiar with for a new version of life or even a new version of you.
Familiarity can be one of the main reasons why it can be so difficult to let go. Often, when we stay with what is familiar, we avoid the fear of deciding to leave behind what we have always known and dive deep into the unknown.
Deciding to let go of a version of who we have always known ourselves to be is one such example of losing a sense of familiarity. Deciding to make a change in one’s life and letting go of who we used to be can allow us to lose the sense of familiarity we may have always known and thereby feel a sense of loss in who we are as a person.
However, what may have always been familiar to us does not always correlate with what is right for us. Perhaps it is those most familiar things that we hold onto so tight that are holding us back from our greatest potential and who we are meant to become.
It may also be beneficial to think of who we would be if we were put into a new environment where the people and expectations of society that we have always known were no longer there.
If negative experiences, old insecurities, family ideals, or bad friends were gone, who would you choose to be if all that you have ever known were no longer there and you had the opportunity to start afresh?
Acceptance is another concept that often tends to coincide with letting go. Often one must accept the situation that is causing them so much distress to finally be able to let it go and feel a sense of release.
However, that is usually much easier said than done. Typically, to accept the situation at hand, we must also be able to face the feelings that come with it as well, a difficult mixture of emotions that can include anger, sadness or fear.
Those feelings of frustration or sadness, as difficult as it can be to understand sometimes, often only want to be acknowledged by their host, and only after being seen and felt do they decide to leave.
Resistance, however, is an opposing and inter-conflicting act of defiance within the body against the acceptance and acknowledgment of those feelings. Resisting can put us in a state of unrest when deciding to go against naturally occurring emotions, and can affect how we go about our daily life. Often, individuals resist without even realizing it, not realizing the effects that it may have or the harm it may cause to the body’s natural state.
But once again, it is only after we take on the task of facing feelings that may have been avoided for a long time and giving them the acknowledgment they have been seeking, do those feelings decide to leave and allow us to return to a normal balance of life.
Another key factor in letting go is how we view life and our perception of it. Many of our experiences in life can be centered around two concepts: perception and mindset.
When we decide to acknowledge that much of how we view our experiences or even ourselves is just simply based on our own backgrounds and upbringings and that everyone else has their unique perception of things different from ours, we begin to be open to the possibility of perhaps trying to view things in a different light.
Mindset can also help us decide to either view a situation as a negative experience to dwell on or a positive experience because of a lesson learned. This could make the biggest difference in how we choose to show up in the world and what kind of outlook on life we have.
Because of this, we are usually only one step away from perceiving things differently just by deciding to change a thought or two that we are so used to thinking. Only one step away from finally being able to come to terms with concepts such as acceptance, letting go or allowing ourselves to see that life has much to offer in terms of abundance and good experiences.
However, it can still be difficult to feel like the world is not ending when something does not go as we may have expected or wanted it to. Difficult to understand how to just automatically shift our mindset and perception of things to a more positive one when all an individual may have always known was a negative mindset instead.
A negative mindset typically comes from a multitude of negative experiences that an individual may have experienced throughout their life. With a negative mindset, a burden of negativity can encompass the mind and hinder our ability to perceive the world.
Ironically enough, it is only when we decide to come to terms with the negative situations presented to us in life and stop resisting the feelings that come along with them, that we can feel a sense of freedom and lightness overcome us, different from the weight of the familiar negativity we once held onto.
Acceptance then, as difficult as it may seem, is often the key to letting go and lifting off of the heavyweight the heart may feel.
The fall season teaches us of how nothing is permanent and that everything has its allotted time. The leaves are not always meant to stay on the trees and the grass is not always meant to be green, so perhaps thoughts and feelings, or places, people and things, are very much the same way and abide by those same rules of nature. To decide otherwise, may only cause us internal harm to ourselves.
What is most beautiful to remember though, is that after the fall and winter seasons end, newness and vibrancy come along with spring and summer. Seasons that bring with it life once again rejuvenated to its fullest, and perhaps even more vibrant or beautiful than we remembered it to be.
Letting go can be seen as the analogy needed to see that by doing so, we are not necessarily losing anything, but instead simply creating and providing space for new and more fulfilling experiences to enter into a new season of life.
Similar to how the trees hold onto their leaves so tightly in the life-giving seasons of spring and summer, but eventually release them in the fall and winter, it is simply a law of nature that we too must let go at some point to give room and space for a more vibrant season and version of ourselves to come.
