Some people believe we are born with characteristic traits while others think we learn them from the people who raised us. No matter how we were raised, where we grew up or what our background is, we all learned several rules as children. We learned to share, to play nicely and to treat one another with respect, among numerous other things.

As we’ve gotten older, we’ve been expected to gather more insight on life and to add on to these original life lessons that were taught to us at such a young age. We may not all have the exact same attributes, but despite our differences, there are certain traits that should be constants in every one of our lives. One of these traits is empathy.

As a little reminder, empathy is the ability to understand the feelings of another person. While this is somewhat comparable to the idea of sympathy, it is not the same thing. Sympathy is having supportive feelings for another person. If a friend is having a bad day, we may feel sympathetic and try to make him or her feel better. Empathy goes much farther than that. Empathy is to understand where a person is coming from. It is to put oneself in another person’s shoes and to try to imagine what they are experiencing. While it is one thing to give support and advice, it is another to be aware and mindful of a given situation. This is no simple task. Empathy requires patience, understanding and time.

As college students, we are all constantly on the go and trying to fit as much into a day as we can. It is very easy to get wrapped up in our own lives and schedules and forget about other things, if only for a day or two.

There comes a time, however, when we have to realize when a friend needs us. While college is a full-time job for most of us right now, we need to remember to keep it in perspective a little. It is four years of our lives, give or take, and after we graduate certain things won’t matter anymore. It won’t matter if we got a B on that test because we stayed up with a friend who was having a rough day. It won’t matter that we lost countless hours of sleep planning out our future lives and careers with friends. It won’t matter if we gained a few pounds from late night food runs. It will only matter that we were there for the people who needed us.

Empathy is being there for one another and being aware of what people are going through. It is easy for us to listen to stories, but it is even easier to judge the people in them because of the way they acted in a certain situation. We cannot judge someone for something we haven’t experienced.

Empathy is especially important in relationships. Whether they be with roommates, friends, family members or significant others, it is something that will either strengthen or weaken a connection. Being able to communicate while at the same time seeing another person’s point of view is very important. When arguing it’s often times hard to see where another person is coming from. We are so focused on believing we’re right that we’re not able to listen to the other person’s argument.

Conflicts get blown out of proportion when people stop listening to each other. We have to be conscious of one another’s opinions and, as cheesy as this sounds, feelings. What might not bother us may be a real issue for someone else. Just because we might get over something quickly doesn’t mean everyone does and vice versa.

Empathy seems like it should be a given, but sometimes it gets forgotten. Although it should be something that comes naturally to us, it’s still nice to get a reminder every once and a while.

So here it is: be patient, be understanding and be kind. Be empathetic and you will receive it back.