The Ram’s will win. Oh yes, they will. It’s in the bag. Now for all of you think that I am kissing some home fan derriere, I’m not. They are going to win whether you or I or anyone likes them; they will win. In fact, I’ll guarantee it. The guarantee starts with the Denver Broncos. (Broncos fans: read this part) The Broncos Super Bowl history is shown in the following chart:

Year Opponent Den. Opp.

1977 vs. Dallas 10 27

1986 vs. Giants 20 39

1987 vs. Wash. 10 42

1989 vs. 49ers 10 55

1997 vs. Green Bay 31 24

1998 vs. Falcons 34 19

The Broncos were outscored 163-50 in their first four title games. But in 1997 and 1998 turned it around and gave the Mile High city a double dose of victory. Now please direct your attention to one final chart. This would be the Rams finishing record since moving to St. Louis:

Year Wins – Loses

1995 7 – 9

1996 6 – 10

1997 5 – 11

1998 4 – 12

1999 13 – 3

Now what does Denver in 1997 and 1998 have that St. Louis has in 1999? Well, they both had one short, wordy kid named Woody living in Kansas City, every city I have lived in has had a seen victory. Now you might ask how an out of shape, 5′ 8″, 140 lbs. kid can go out and win NFL teams the big crown, and actually, I have no idea.

All I can say is that I have been given a very special gift (to which the Chiefs are immune) and I am happy to share it with St. Louis. (Broncos fans: don’t read this part)

This time it’s much better than in Denver. Growing up a Chiefs fan the Broncos, led by John Elway, were our arch enemies, and the team that ruined all our plans. When they finally won, it was like “Thank God, Elway finally did it.” Then they rioted. I mean rioted. Upside-down cars, bonfires in the center of the city; people on overhead electrical wires And that quarterback’s face EVERYWHERE.

So be aware St. Louis, Denver will judge you by your carnage and chaos. But here in the arch city, it is so-nice. Such underdogs. Kurt Warner’s great exodus around the world before arriving here in the promise land. It is just such a fairy tale, you have to love these guys. But moving on:

I am so inspired, that I want to add on further prediction.

The softball team will christen its new stadium with a drastic improvement. The Royals will play .500 ball. Big Mac will not disappoint but will hit at least the big 60 once again. Kurt Warner will be elected mayor of this town with Marshall Faulk as his Chief of Staff.

The Rams pay the Pope 11.2 million a year to visit this city prior to each new season.

Finally, Cincinnati will edge out Cleveland in the bidding to get me to move to Cincy after college (Bengals-Champions in 2002).

Also, I would like to announce my choice as Woody’s Most Valuable Bench Players for the fall season. The big winner is 4th string soccer goalie Jason Cherish. He showed real team work by continuing a strict work regimen despite not ever seeing a road jersey.

He is truly an inspiration to people everywhere like me who quit after being selected last at kickball in third grade. Of course, I didn’t come out of Maryland. But I still feel I can connect with him.

I have to use some insider information to make one final prediction. Chris Heinrich will shoot double digits after the inaugural appearance of the new and energetic “Chris Heinrich Fan Club.”

You think I am joking but oh no. They will be there right behind the Pep Band with face paint and the patented Hein-richter Scale.

This exciting piece of technology will accurately measure the greatness of each Heinrich play.

Watch for them. These fans are the next generation of SLU spirit. They are the true embodiment of our spirit.