You can tell it’s September.

Desperation has set in.

A year ago Bush (joke) was a demi-god, and now the polls show him more as a floundering ugly duckling in a Texas oil spill. He lost 16 points in Illinois in the past month.

Despite the fact that he has raised a funding purse larger than Bill Gates’ (whiner) stock portfolio, he has ceased to focus his energy on the commercials that have become the most effective medium for publicizing political thoughts. Now the Republican Party (jerks) has resorted to more subtle tactics.

I have to admit, I was seeking a more nonpartisan slant to my election comments. Despite this, I have to bring to the community’s attention the fact that we have hit a new low in “campaign strategy.” The following report hit the media earlier this week, regarding a nationally broadcast campaign ad paid for by the Republican National Committee (dumb).

I promise you I am not making this up.

A large segment of the spot is spent discussing the flaws in opponent Al Gore’s plan for Medicare. There is one point where the narrator utters the word “bureaucrat,” and it was at this point that a gentleman in Seattle (bad java) thought something looked funny.

So he taped the piece, slowed it down and discovered that indeed something was weird. At that moment, a frame flashed upon the screen that is undetectable by the human eye when viewed at normal speed. The brief flash of the word “RATS” was shown presumably to register subliminally on the audience’s subconscious.

I am sure Gore sat stunned for a half a second as he contemplated the insult that was being suggested. Then I am positive he jumped up and down for joy.

The RNC (SOL) claimed that they had no knowledge of such an addition being ordered for the commercial. The creator of the commercial says he was trying to make the piece more exciting, to entice the viewer. Bush’s (washed up) comment was funnier than the issue itself, since he pronounces subliminal like a five year old pronounces aluminum-adding at least two more syllables.

Now, I am sure that many are saying that this is just a sick side effect of the stiff competition involved in national campaigns. Some may cite it as an example of how politicians will stoop to any level to smear their opponents. I disagree.

This is just a sign of how these campaigns are next to stupid after this much time.

These guys are running almost 24 hours a day, and they are tired. This is exemplified by Bush’s (goner) faux pas of referring to a major New York Times reporter as a “major league —-.”

Things are obviously getting slap-happy on the trail.

This signals another issue, however. The American people are so numbed by these 30 second moments of hell that we are actually watching for unusual flashes on the screen. I mean is this all we have to talk about?

This is the biggest decision in the whole world, and this is the top headline?

We are so oblivious to the issues, the photo-ops and the polished scripts, that we are hoping something exciting pops up.

Maybe next time the creature from “Aliens” will pop out of Dick Cheney’s (UFO Pilot) chest.

Or even better, don’t even watch the commercials. Read the paper. You can always trust print.