Britney Spears or Kylie Minouge? It may be a matter of personal taste, but given the choice, you’d have a tough decision to make. Both of these beautiful women have so much to offer a strapping young bachelor, a definitive answer would suggest that maybe you have seen the emperor’s new clothes.

Though she’s wrapped up in the arms of Justin, Britney seems more attainable. The fact sheet says she’s a minor, still a virgin, and from the South.

She’s dumb, too. Just the other day, she revealed to Fox News that she had never heard of Yoko Ono and Linda McCartney. Oh, and she thinks Elvis Presley is from Las Vegas.

Obviously, she’s lacking in the maturity department but remains the most sought-after woman in the world. Since you would certainly have a hand in molding such a young mind, Britney could be the greatest trophy wife ever.

Kylie is essentially an Aussie version of Britney, though she’s older, smarter and much sexier. She’s got that supermodel look going for her and has way better hair than Brit. She also dresses well and listens to Roxy Music and the Rolling Stones.

If you’re wondering why we haven’t mentioned that Kylie Minouge has just released her stateside debut, Fever, it’s because the thought of actually landing one of these women is much more interesting than listening to their music.

Minouge is the biggest of stars overseas, and her comeback success has essentially mirrored the Spearsdom currently sweeping the States. But rather than relying on bubble-gum beats and sappy balladry, Minouge has moved in the techno-pop direction most recently explored by the Material Girl. Madonna has succeeded because she’s Madonna but also because she’s surrounded herself with great talent like Mirwais and Les Rhythmes Digitales.

Unfortunately, Kylie has been left on her own without the capability of carrying anything except a tune.

Though you’ll find yourself appropriately humming “Can’t Get You Out of My Head,” there’s not much here but her picture on the album cover. Her undeniable appeal doesn’t surface on Fever.

Kylie is miles ahead of, say, Jamiroquai, but that really doesn’t mean a thing. But, if it were any consolation, we’d take her over Britney any day.

Grade: C