Upon the commencement of school, a pertinent question arises:
Can you really be friends with benefits and remain friends?
Initially, you need to ask yourself: Did the friendship come before
the benefits or because of them?

There is a very thin line between friendship and something more,
and once that line is crossed you’ve entered the line of fire.

Drawing that line is the tricky part, because it’s different for
each person. As a friend said, “Someone is going to get jealous and
end up getting hurt. Always.” There is an undeniable truth in this
statement.

We fool ourselves into believing that we can separate emotion
from pleasure, but when trying to think of an example of one such
situation we draw a blank.

In reality, the two are connected, and no matter how hard you
try to deny this, or overcome it, you won’t. Even if you begin
thinking it will only last for one evening, you could get hurt
because you don’t know what the other person really wants. In some
cases, you don’t know what you really want.

More frequently, couples that have recently broken up end up
being friends with benefits. This, by far, is the worst possible
scenario. It leaves both people more wounded and bitter.

When you break up with someone, you are not friends. You are a
couple that has just broken up. You need both time and space to
heal emotionally. Once the wound has healed, you can become
friends.

Until then you simply cannot be friends, thus making the task of
being friends with benefits virtually impossible.

If you do try this, you will never heal emotionally. You’re
simply giving into physical desire because it’s habitual.

What you don’t realize is that you’re subconsciously satisfying
your emotional void, from which disaster arises.

One of the worst examples that I’ve seen lasted for two and a
half years after a breakup. The worst part was that they only dated
for two years prior to this. Both of them ended up with a lowered
self-esteem and bitter memories.

As the saying goes, “Hindsight is 20/20,” and now the girl in
this situation can see how her mistake essentially ruined her
social life for two years.

It took the support of her friends, and someone calling her out,
to make her finally move on.

The truth is, we’ve all tried it, or at least entertained the
thought. From our own experience to the experiences of our friends,
we are able to see the outcome of attempting “friends with
benefits.”

So why do we try it over and over? We try because it’s the easy
way out. We have a friend that we’re attracted to, so why not?

Next time, ask yourself: Why? If you know you’re going to get
burned in the end, why do it? Personally, I think waiting until the
next relationship comes a long is a much safer idea.

Yes, it takes patience and self-control, but ultimately, it will
be the only situation from which you can benefit.