Broke-plot movie

Guess what season it is. It is the American Academy Award season; and, once again, Hollywood has outdone itself with one of the most mundane and anticlimactic movies in the history of the industry. It deals with cowboys living on a mountain. Surprise! They are also homosexuals. Can this theme possibly make for an intriguing movie about the toil of old-world homosexuality? No! Brokeback Mountain is trash. When it comes out on DVD, I am ordering all copies and using them to heat my water.What does the plot of this wretched film entail? Two studs ascend to Mount Brokeback in order to watch over virgin-white sheep. Instead, they decide to fornicate in the mountains. Then they get married-not to each other-and fornicate some more. I forgot to mention they were in love, but so did the author of the movie. Sound oversimplified? I think my summary was too long. The whole movie is a drawn-out porno. Right off the bat, a whole slew of people will disagree with the notion that Brokeback is mindless dribble. After all, how could a movie that chronicles the lives of two homosexual men in an old-fashioned society be worse than Pearl Habor? The movie entirely missed the point. The fact that these men were homosexual came as a complete surprise to me. The whole period leading up to the first totally unnecessary sodomy scene consisted of the two men spending their days apart and eating beans out of a can near one another at night. Then, one cowboy got so cold that they had sex. I wish I could admit to dumbing this down, but there was simply nothing to set up the idea of a true relationship. It would be somewhat believable for Pierce Brosnan and Elizabeth Hurley to erupt into passionate consensual sex after simply sharing a canned dinner-it is not for two wranglers to do the same. Open homosexuality was quite uncommon in the days of Brokeback, and it would be extremely unlikely that two homosexual cowboys would meet randomly, much less submit to their desires and rendezvous in a tent.After this uncalled for but quite amusing sex scene, the whole movie just slid right down the mountain into the water. Too bad it did not drown. For what felt like as long as I spent in the womb, the audience was forced to watch the men marry awkward women, lead separate lives and then embrace each other during their secret yearly meetings up on that old, dusty trail. By now, everyone should realize that this movie is preposterous.I am sorry if I offended people who felt the movie depicted a socially taboo lifestyle that many need to understand. Oh wait, no I am not. The only reason anyone thought it was good was because they were shocked by the sex scenes and with the notion of a movie about homosexual cowboys. I dare one human to come up with any reason that Brokeback does justice to the many Americans who have true experiences in the lifestyle. Just releasing a movie touching upon the idea of secretive homosexuality, adding sex scenes to make it “realistic,” should be offensive.I have already lost faith in the Golden Globes. Academy, do not let me down! Why does this holiday flick not incite outrage from the gay community? The description of Brokeback as a worthy movie is as absurd as the statement, “Bill Clinton is a faithful husband.” If negative stars were a quantity, this movie would go to infinity.

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