I define myself as random: without definite aim, direction, rule or method. I am always lost, even in my own head. I have no perception of time, and since I am constantly trying to find my way around, it is a guarantee that I will be late. My friends and family know when I say I will be somewhere in five minutes, it’s a lie.

It is ironic that I am the chief copy editor, as I am a horrible speller. When I was little I couldn’t sound out words, because I had a phonics problem, so I had to do Hooked on Phonics. Yes, I was just like one of those kids on the commercials who didn’t enjoy reading and then read all the time after I did Hooked On Phonics. No, my mom did not call 1-800-ABCDEFG-my teacher let me borrow it. I still struggle sounding out words to spell them and instead have to memorize spelling words.

A. I don’t know how I have survived school and got accepted into college. B. I hope my boss, Adam Tamburin, skips this commentary.

I am typically creeping on Facebook, thinking about a thousand things at once-usually never completing a single thought.

Really, if Facebook had a homework application, then my productivity level would increase by 110 percent.

If I am not on Facebook, I am on perezhilton.com. It’s addictive. I do not know why I feel the need to obsess over celebrities and their lives. I guess it is because knowing Britney Spears can go from flab to fab in five seconds makes me feel as though my life will come together soon. I guess I need to know I am not the only one grasping at what feels like nothing to piece my life together when it is in shambles.

I often find myself lost in thought, reflecting on my insane life that could be written into a sitcom. Even though many people feel that their life is dysfunctional, in reality it is only funny to a handful of their friends and family. Maybe I am a dreamer, but I do not think the random acts sent upon me daily are bland by any means.

And then Perez Hilton could write about my night out in LA with Mush Mush (Mischa Barton).

But the best way to understand my train of thought is through the main character from the TV show “Scrubs,” JD. He creates dramatic scenarios from daily events that he encounters throughout his day at the hospital.

My dramatic daydreams often involve BumbleBee, the Chevrolet Camaro from Transformers, and me in action scenes where a bullet misses me by inches.

I think Taylor Swift wrote her songs about me. I hope one day someone does write a song about me. I don’t want to write a song-I’m selfish.

I have only finished three books: Charolette’s Web and the first two Harry Potter books. The author tends to ruin the ending for me. However, I do not know how to end stories either. I have a problem building a story to the climax and then dropping it with no point.

Just like right now. I don’t know how to end this column .

Brigid Kinsella is a junior in the College of Arts and Sciences and chief copy editor at The University News.