It is clich? to lament the loss of Super Bowl purity. Supposedly, there was a time when it was merely a game, played by the toughest of tough, men whose goal was claiming sweet grid-iron victory. If any doubt that these days have passed remained after the Britney Spears, Aerosmith, N*Sync combination half-time show two years ago, this year’s consumerism steroid that is the Super Bowl ad blitz dashed it asunder. The real game on Sunday was played in 30-second increments, wedged between football.

What less could be expected from the grandest consuming nation of all time? What electrifying feat of grid-iron heroism can compete with the jiggling star of Alias or a Hemi-powered Dodge Ram? Of course Cadillac, Gatorade and Budweiser dominated and grabbed the attention. Even those who know nothing about football understand the plot of a Pepsi-Twist commercial, it’s attention-deficit friendly. On Monday, water-cooler discussion didn’t concern Warren Sapp’s glorious defensive performance. It centered on the Bud Light commercial or the numerous previews for summertime blockbusters.

So which companies fared well? A small poll taken after the game at St. Louis Sports Zone revealed the following:

Budweiser is king of advertising when it comes to Super Bowl commercial breaks, but only in the testosterone-pumped crowds. In Bud Light commercials, average-looking guys paired with super-model women equal an ego boost for the average Joe Shmoe. Clever visual jokes and sometimes-sophomoric humor spell money well spent for Anheuser-Busch.

If a commercial is to do well, it must not indulge on the self-serious side, like Cadillac’s Godzilla 90-second spot on its new line of vehicles. People want commercials to liven the mood if their team is losing and keep things on a high if their team is winning. Even H&R Block seemed to get the hint this year.

All the sheer consumerism propaganda built up to one pinnacle event on Sunday: the Super Bowl Halftime Show Presented By AT&T Wireless. But this year’s halftime seemed to lack something: maybe it was Shania Twain and No Doubt resting on their laurels, singing mediocre, largely worn-out hit songs, or maybe it was Sting and his silly part-Mohawk. Distracted by the overly enthusiastic stage audience, one couldn’t help but wonder if the Gladiator battles at the ancient Roman Coliseum were stricken with lackluster halftime shows. Wonder not, for it is unlikely that ancient Romans would unleash something as furiously boring as Shania Twain upon their audiences unless they intended to send a lion or Germanic Horde after her.

Sad halftime show aside, there were non-commercial highlights during the evening. Somewhere amidst all the bells and glitter, there was a football game and an admirable attempted comeback by a downtrodden Raiders football team. The attempt kept the game interesting until two interceptions were thrown for touchdowns, late in the fourth quarter, by Raiders quarterback Rich Gannon, but even the excitement of a possible, unprecedented 17-point deficit comeback could not compare to the advertisement for a new Terminator movie.

So what can be made of this debacle of pop culture, this event that has come to envelope so much “stuff” that it seems to have lost its essential purpose? I don’t know, but I’m sure watching next year.