After 183 days of patient waiting and nervous nail biting, the Major League Baseball playoffs are finally upon us.

I’m going to offer you my picks; I went seven-for-seven last year (that’s even better than Albert Pujols’ batting average!). Read on if you like spoilers.

NL Division Series

Let’s warm up with an easy one: St. Louis vs. San Diego. The bottom line is that the Padres are atrocious.

Barring the complete collapse of the best team in baseball, the Cardinals should have this series wrapped up easily.

Sure, the Padres managed to heat up and keep their record above .500 at the end of the season, but they should be overwhelmed by the Cardinals’ pitching and offensive prowess.

Aside from Jake Peavy, who lost Game 1, the Padres lack strong starting pitching, as evidenced by their mid-season acquisition of Chan-Ho Park.

Pick: Cardinals in 4 games.

Moving on, we see that the Houston Astros, who just snuck into the Wild Card spot, will take on the Atlanta Braves.

This certainly promises to be the more entertaining of the playoff series.

Atlanta has been playing good baseball throughout the season, despite the loss of key players to injuries.

The bats of Braves Chipper Jones, Andruw Jones and Jeff Francouer will be the storyline as they face off against Roger Clemens, Andy Pettite and Roy Oswalt, the anchors of an excellent Houston starting staff.

I’m banking on the Astros’ starters, coupled with Brad Lidge in the bullpen, to smother the Atlanta offense.

Pick: Astros in 5 games.

NL Championship Series

We’ve already established that the Cardinals have a phenomenal offense and that the Astros pitch exceptionally well. Neither of these aspects of those teams’ games will break down.

The NLCS storyline lies in the St. Louis pitching staff going against the Houston offense.

The Astros are as well-known for not scoring any runs as they are for not allowing them.

Clemens finished the season with a 1.87 ERA and eight losses, and Pettite managed a 2.39 ERA while taking nine losses.

When compared to their ERAs, those loss totals cannot be explained by anything else but lack of offense.

I expect to see the Astros keep the series close, but Chris Carpenter, Jeff Suppan, Mark Mulder and Jason Isringhausen should dominate the Houston lineup.

Pick: Cardinals in 6 games.

AL Division Series

In the first of two great match-ups, the White Sox set out to end their World Series drought against the Red Sox.

Both teams’ pitching compares fairly evenly with good starting staffs and mediocre bullpens in both clubhouses.

Furthermore, both teams are capable of pounding out home runs at will.

This series, in my mind, comes down to two things: Chicago’s ability to play small ball and Chicago’s home field advantage. While they were stellar at Fenway Park, Boston was only 41-40 on the road.

The White Sox should be able to use that to their advantage and compete in the ALCS.

Pick: White Sox in 5 games.

Next, we’ll look at the Yankees and Angels. New York scratched and clawed its way into first place in the AL East.

Anaheim punched its ticket into the playoffs by quietly winning the AL West.

The fact is that the Yankees have the better team. They are built to win from the top of their lineup on down.

With a better offense, comparable starting pitching and a more consistent closer, the Yanks should beat out the Angels.

Pick: Yankees in 4.

AL Championship Series

This series seems to be a much tighter match than any of the others.

Again, the Yanks and Sox have the ability to pound on the ball and can score runs at will.

In this case, however, the Chicago starting staff will be better than that of the Yankees.

With Mark Buerhle eating up innings (and saving the bullpen) and Jose Contreras and Brandon McCarthy pitching brilliantly of late, this should be the X Factor. Mariano Rivera does no good if he cannot be used in save situations. Pick: Sox in 6.

World Series

Here, I present the ultimate dilemma for Cubs fans: Root for the Sox or root for the Cards?

It shouldn’t matter, as the rooting won’t take long.

The Sox have a middle-of-the-road bullpen, which should be overmatched by the Cards.

St. Louis and Tony LaRussa should out-manage journeyman manager Ozzie Guillen, and will prove to be a huge difference maker.

Also, I expect Yadier Molina to limit steal attempts by the Sox and Scott Podsednik from behind the plate.

Will St. Louis make up for the 2004 choke job? I think so. Pick: Cardinals in 6.

How will I fare this year? Only time will tell.

If you need me, I’ll be in my apartment, beating myself up over this World Series pick.