Let Me Explain: Another French Goodbye

Change is a bitch. Let me explain.

For 21 years now, I’ve let impatience fuel my time. The moment I swam out of the womb, I placed my slender hand upon my shapely hip, looked up at my mother and said, “Damn, woman, it’s about time!”

Now that I’m slightly more seasoned and have a driver’s license, impatience steers my sensible Honda. College has been a disappointingly drawn-out combination of three-minute Lean Cuisines and skimming humdrum philosophy reading-a stark contrast from those friend-filled high school days of filling family dinners and reading novels for fun. So far, college is high school’s bastard cousin.

I have spent two-and-a-half years bashing my SLU experience and putting those good ol’ high school days up on the education pedestal, all the while praying that one night of slumber could magically fast-forward to graduation day. This pessimistic impatience has got to change: and what better time to modify one’s outlook than the commencement of a new year?

New Year’s resolutions are made for one reason and one reason only: to feign concern about ourselves. If we really cared about our health, we would commit to Pilates year-round, not just for the month of January or after purchasing a cute new sports bra. If we really desired to kick our bad habits, then the cigarettes would be flushed and the suddenly interested dates would surface. See, that’s the problem: Apathy has infiltrated to the extent that we don’t even have the energy to make the first move toward improving ourselves.

If not now, when? Will you decide to try out a treadmill when your kids are too embarrassed of your weight to tell you about Career Day? Is it going to take the love of your life walking out on you to make you choose to live?

Maybe it’s all too dramatic, but, then again, another impatient and listless year has essentially flown by, so now is the time to take time; choose action over inaction. Instead of pretending to revamp your life, simply renew it. I have wasted so much energy complaining about my current state that I haven’t slowed down and taken the time to enjoy being an independent collegiate, which even my cynical self must admit is pretty damn cool. College may seem like an overbearing pressure cooker of unsettled goals for the restless spirit, yet it can also be an organizational opportunity for preparing the self for what lies ahead.

But why do we separate who we were in high school from who we are in college? A vast number of college students approach their university experience as an opportunity to be someone completely different, but when you get right down to it, we’re the same people-we just live in a much smaller room.

When you retire this evening to your apartment in the Marchetti Tower of Mold, take comfort in knowing that others are just as quirky and strange as you are, and it’s a beautiful thing. Maybe your roommate folds her unmentionables to Sade. Perhaps you enjoy listening to the Mob Hits collection while boiling water for pasta. Or perchance your guilty pleasure is eating feta cheese right out of the container while glued to the latest Top Chef. When you set out to renew yourself, take the time to appreciate your peculiarity.

In the process of fabricating a resolution this year, resolve to better yourself by being yourself. It will take some adjusting, as people may not automatically understand your appreciation for Def Leppard during your morning routine. But the point is that that’s OK-be selfish for a change! A bient?t, overactive conscience. Farewell, inner monologue. Hello, memories.

A change of attitude does not necessitate a change of the self. Change is a bitch, but I don’t have to be.