Once every four years in some seemingly distant land (and occasionally on American soil), a seemingly foreign sport hosts its highest form of competition.
Players with unfamiliar names like “Fabre-gas,” “Robben” and “Klose” abide by a faintly familiar set of rules as they gallivant around on something called a “pitch” (apparently it’s the same thing as a field).
For most Americans, soccer is too slow, too wimpy and too darn…un-American. In this country, gladiators play football with pads and mouth guards.
Added time is called overtime and it comes into play when four quarters are not enough to settle the score.
In the rare case of a tie, fans complain for weeks on end.
Football enthusiasts celebrate iron men like Brett Favre for their ability to fight through pain and do whatever possible to take the field. Football becomes futbol, an un-American word to say the Unless a player has torn their ACL or shattered a fibula, lying on the ground in pain amounts to mortal sin.
So why is soccer’s coverage growing in a country whose most popular sport is unquestionably fast-paced and instantly gratifying?
Soccer’s differences from typically “American” sports make it that much more appealing. Peculiarly enough, millions upon millions somehow find a way to sit through eighty-nine minutes of scoreless soccer during the World Cup in the hopes that the ball might find the back of the net for their country.
As the old saying goes, “half the fun is getting there.” At times, the ebb and flow of a soccer game can be unmatched by any other athletic competition. As such, it is an inherently social sport.
As the ball flutters back and forth along the pitch in a sort of unpredictable dance, so to do the hearts of passionate soccer fans hoping to cheer their side to victory.
In that respect, soccer is the most American sport of them all. All men and women can experience the equality of screaming their lungs out in support for the “’yanks.”
Drunken and sober pub-goers alike hold these truths to be self-evident:
Obviously the players from the other countries are faking injuries, it’s soccer.
If an American player is on the ground for more than two seconds, you yell at him to quit trying to draw the foul.
Vuvuzelas are the most annoying noisemaker in the history of sports…unless American fans use them.
Okay, even Americans need to retire use of the vuvuzelas. The “bafana bafana” spirit of South Africa was fun while it lasted, but seriously, enough.
Last but not least, if a member of Team USA magically manages to sneak a ball past the opposing keeper, as an American you are obligated to scream and cheer like your favorite football team just won the Super Bowl.
If your fellow countrymen surround you, the beer-soaked breath of the red, white and blue hooligan standing at attention next to you may have impaired your senses.
That does not keep the yelling at bay. For the next few seconds it is impossible to hear anything but the chants of “U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A!”
Soccer’s appeal instantly becomes apparent in the moments after a score. The shear communal joy of celebration opens up a new world to fans of the game. As euphoria engulfs viewers, strangers become friends, disinterest melts into pandemonium and anything seems possible.
For every criticism of soccer that critics may put forth, there is a moment that may take your breath away.
Soccer may be the type of “foreign” sport most Americans only pay attention to once every four years, but the positives of the game are ideals that are deeply ingrained in the spirit of the United States.
